U asked for it.. (;

You wonna know what's going on?

mmm.. probably the longest time pmsing ever, so... no you don't really wonna know what's going on in my mind hahahahahaha! Beside Christian finds it sooooo funny... great! Still don't know if that is a good thing or not, but well I'll find it out soon enough.

Ok so, here are the things going on: 

I've been trying to not miss Christian too much every single second of every each one of my days.. but well, not really working. You would think the more you get busy, the more that would help. NOP! It does the opposite!!!!!!!!! Oh gosh, that's a problem.

I've been trying to decide what kind of dress to make for myself. The hardest thing ever! Almost went and bought one, but finally found what I want, made a sketch that nop I'm not posting here. Been planning my days, my weeks, our wedding, our receptions.. how many again? Oh yes 3! Nop not weddings, but receptions (:

Been working every day sometimes 6 hours sometimes 11 hours and enjoying it, cause I get to spend great time with Conny(: Been waiting to talk to Christian every second of my days, been living life like if he's right here with me, cause yes sometimes I still turn to talk to him and realize he's not there... oh gosh, that sounds a little freaky hahahahahaha!

Been waking up every morning and been surprised  with some news for us. Everyday something happens that we have to deal with and fix. Been laughing at how crazy it is this loooooOOOooove that we feel/live for each other... I mean really, we could even sound cheesy to some, but oh gosh is soooo not. It's way something else then cheese, but can't really explain it sorry! Been sharing this moment with people that really loves me, and oh gosh it is so beautiful.

Been looking at the sunshine in the morning and realize today I'm a little closer to him. Been praying, been thankful, been remembering to exercise faith, and been thankful again. Being eating way tooooo much and way noooot enough... I need to stop this now or I'll have to make an XL dress for me. What would help? ..mmmmm "let me think about that!" hahahaha(;

Been talking to Christian and looking at him while moving his stuff, while he's writing me, while he's smiling at me, while he tells me how much he loves me, while we look at each other and feel the strength of our love overwelming  our eyes with tears, while he falls asleep, while he snores!!! YEP u did! hahahahaha. While he's looking so dang great..!!! While he's being so dang cute. while I just wish to be there with him, while i wish him to be here with me and experiencing all that I am right now. Cause there's so much I wish I could show him here.

While he tells me his news of the day, while we are trying to fix a daily task that is popping up from nowhere giving us an hard time. Another hard time.

While I've been talking to him and falling asleep at the same time.. every night (my nights). While praying together before going to sleep and feel how close we are...(:

I mean really, my question is: how in the heck can you do that without skype??????? Yes I've been WAY thankful for skype, cause believe me that is saving my life!!!! I wouldn't been here talking right now, ... nop. In some things I'm so way not patient unfortunatly.

Being laughing with my niece Aurora, being driving a lot lately, been looking around saying "oh gosh I live in such a beauty all around me!", and been saying almost goodbye to everything I see, everything I do, everyone I meet even if don't really know them like the post men hahahahaha! realizing much of this I won't see for a long time. Been so greatful for finding true happiness in my life and now making it soooo complete with Christian, finding another dimension that I didn't think possible, or didn't know possible.

Been talking in 4 languages, been up to some funky new work's adventure with Conny. Been so tired, been waking up after few hours of sleep cause I can't wait to see Christian. Been talking with people I know and I don't know about my wedding. Been working on everything we need to do in this 3 months of time we still have. Been stresssssssing a lot and been remembering to breath a lot, but actually not doing it enough as my stomac is hurting again. Been not stressed as i remember that I only need to do my best and exercise faith for the rest. Been going to buy fabric and other stuff for wedding gown and flower girls dresses. Been going to Como (Italy) a looooot lately. Been waiting for Sunday again.. that will say another week is gone!

Been waiting for October soooo bad, been shrinking a lot the list of things I'd like for my wedding. What's left is the cake(; Hopefully we'll have that hahahahaha!

Been spending some quality time with families, relatives and friends. Been talking to people I love and that loves me about Christian. Been having this great experience to feel the love and support of people that loves us so much(:

The truth is I can't really enjoying anything anymore, I can't really be busy enough to not miss him, I can't eat or not eat enough to feel better, I can't fall asleep without seeing him even for a quick "ciao bello". I can't really talk to anyone without saying with the biggest smile almost in tears "I'm getting married!!!! and have Christian in front of my eyes, I can't experience nice moments cause I just wish him to have that moment too.

But I can love Christian, I can work everyday to make it a little more possible to be soon together, I can do my best. And I can pray and try to have a little more faith, cause everyday a way is shown to us and everyday I see a help and a hand on us that is greater then what thought possible. It is an incredible experience and believe it or not, in a way I'm enjoying all this. I'm enjoying stay away from Christian, cause all this that is happening is giving me so much more experiences that are so unique and that I'll always remember(:

So thank you, thank you for going crazy for how much I miss Christian!! hahahahahaha!