I would add to your last post..

but after all this, and getting to your VERY LIMIT,

you finally see .. this

and life just goes back to normal and it's colors.. Till when, I can't really say thoug..(: Can't really  predict next minute around the corner.. 

but thank goodness for those colors and that fresh air(: 

Recharge is required for next ride.

And yes would be nice to live that long... After all that's why we are going through all this, so.. take a deep breath, and let's see what tomorrow is like(:

rules of engagement # 8

Distraction.

"remembering you set out to drain the swamp is hard when you're up to your ass in alligators."

David Mamet said that, and quite frankly, over the years, this quote has helped to regain perspective when stuck waist deep in insignificant details. it's so easy to fall into the trap of becoming so busy and so focused on the minute to minute, the hour to hour, the day to day, that i often lose sight of what it is i set out to do in the first place; the long term objective.

look people, engagement sucks! and when i say it, i mean it. i don't ever want to go through this hell hole again, and in our specific circumstances being so far away, the alligators might as well be huge meat-eating dinosaurs. this is not easy. every time i write one of these entries, i feel like yet another chunk of flesh has been consumed by this whole engagement process, and i don't have many chunks left.


don't get me wrong, i want more than anything to marry naomi, and if i be so blessed to live that long, everything will have been well worth it. but engagement is bloody. it destroys towns and villages in its wake. it's war every second of every day. it definitely requires everything that you've got in order to just to survive it.

but i guess that is the goal: survive the engagement remembering that the life we start together is what this whole process is about. and marriage doesn't mean that the war is over, but it does mean that you now have an ally to help flank the enemy.


it's kind of like going to the movies: one can stand in line to buy tickets while the other buys popcorn; twice as much accomplished, half the time in line (if you have never experienced the positive results of employing this strategy then go read: THE LOGISTICAL ADVANTAGES OF DATING by U. R. N. Needofhelp).

rules of engagement # 7

no matter how much is going on, no matter how busy you become, make sure you slow down and take the time to listen.  perhaps this entry is exclusively for me.  i mean after all, my own experiences have brought me to make this observation.  listening is generally something i'm good at.  something i enjoy doing.  something i take the time to do no matter what else is going on.  however during the last two weeks,  i must apologize.  i have not been so willing to listen, and i have no excuse for it.  

sure, there was the trip to new york.  there is the movie in portland, but when put into the context of the greater perspective, these two things dwindle near the bottom of the importance  list.  so, i apologize for cutting conversations short just because i was being impatient because other things were on my mind, for allowing little things become larger distractions and thus taking me away from you having my complete attention, and for not creating an inviting environment for you to feel completely comfortable to tell me what's on your mind.

forgive me.  i know better.  i'll do better.

rules of engagement #6

if you think that staying busy during your engagement will relieve the stress of getting married: you're sadly mistaken.  for example, this past week, i traveled to my favorite city in the US, New York.  the Big Apple.  sure, work took up every minute of my time there, running here, doing that, eating this, and driving there.  but somehow, in the midst of all of that, i still found time to worry about everything that has to be completed before we get married. 

so even if you think you have no time to worry, the truth is: somewhere in that mysterious subconscious of yours, you will make the time.  so just to warn you, don't be surprised that the stress never really goes away until the wedding day. (however, even though after the wedding day the stress of getting married will be over, another something to stress about will most assuredly pop up.)

P-ricelessssss

Please goodness look at youuU! I just can't stop looking at you and Eva!(: 

Oh goodness I want one just like her. Wait, more then one.. Maybe Pascal was right hahahahaha(:

week-end with Cathrin.. priceless(:

I wish I could take you all with me...(:

The Temple was fantastic(: Gosh I'm glad I did go. Even for few hours it is worth it. And it is when you step in that you realize how much you missed it, how much you need it, and how much it is home.

p.s. by the way, does anyone know what kind of flower is this yellow one??? The steam looks like a sunflower, but the flower is totally knew to me. 

I wonder now what's up with me. I keep seeing flowers I've never seen before, but now my question is if I haven't paied attention to all this before, and it's just now that I'm doing it.. mmmmm.. Ok I'm in love, but come on... Is life really that bad without this kind of love??? hahahahahaha(: I think life it's not bad, but it just becomes much MUCH better with someone to love and be loved like this. It really is.. And no I can't really explain it, so people get over the fact I'm this happy and try to be ok with it. (sorry I'm just a little frustrated with "some" people)

thank goodness for GOOood friends

you can count how much you want, but the good one are few.

Here are some of my few

There are people in our life that have the ability to add something good, very good to your own life. Joyful or not, whatever you all are going through you are just there. It's an amazing opportunity, a unique time of growth. Something that you just know will last more, longer, way longer. This life it's just too short for such love. Come on, it just doesn't fit all in here!! ... and at the end it all makes sense.

Menja and Cathrin

love you (:

doesn't matter if you are on a plain and I'm on a train.. it just doesn't

Lugano- Zurich/ train ride

yea my window wasn't very clean..

cake or death? mmmmm... cake please (:

il mio pulcino

la mia nipotina incredibile. Sei troppo carina(:

playing with my wedding decoration (:

yep, this time wouldn't have been the same without you Aurora(:

when was last time you got soaked by rain... lots of rain??

I mean walking with no umbrealla, just for the fun of it

mmmm... that would be friday for me, and I loOved it. Sometimes the clear and fresh contact with the most simple things, really make a difference we almost forgot.

(Pictures - Lugano, Ticino/ from last spring '08)

you would think...

what??? do you really think I have the time, patience and energy to still do this???

the other day..

i found myself on top of a mountain, got off the car, lay down on the grass and started breathing deeply looking above me... amazing.

It was only for 5 minutes, but that's how I call it "relaxing" (:

rules of engagement #5

i don't have a rule this week.  after all, this is the first engagement i have been a part of, so i just don't have many knowledgeable things to share due to my lack of experience.  but i will say this, i do not want to go through this again. 

things change quickly.  one minute something goes wrong.  next minute, you're feeling better than ever before.  then somehow the you find yourself  just having fallen through the floor.  you just wonder, when is this going to level out?  truth is.  i don't know.

you feel weak.   you feel strong.  you feel invincible.  you feel vulnerable.  up, down, up, down.   just stop this amusement park ride and let me off.

but then you remember.  you remember things like the beach.  the day you lost your keys in the sand right after having chosen a date to get married.  and even after throwing away $360  on a custom-made key, it was still a good day.  why?  because we were together.  and that is when you realize that being together is the only thing that matters.  

naomi, i love you.  let's get lost in the caves and make out. :)

remember that day?

We'll make it, you'll see

even with all the frustration, I know we will (:

Even if that means I'll be kicked out of your country 100 times, I'm still marring you.

I think I'm slooowly getting used to the idea/or possibility, so I promise we'll be fine.

I just need to have a suitcase always ready... just in case(: And no, none can say our life will be a boring one hahahahahahaha!

rules of engagement: #4

be prepared.

if anyone has told that the engagement process is fun, they should be taken to a mental institution straight-away.  this is not fun and anyone who says different... is a liar. just today i confirmed with three other couples, and the story was the same: the moment you get engaged, expect things that you have never imagined to start happening.  

this week, my car did break down.  the computer (which never breaks down) broke down.  it ended up costing $1000.  one week ago, i was living in nice home with privacy.  now i'm bunking it in an apartment with no privacy.  it's ridiculous.  but what can you do except to "pick yourself up. dust yourself off. and start all over again."  

sometimes i feel like the only thing keeping me focused is the end result.  Naomi and I will be married in the temple.  we will have a family.  we will be together.  this is what will happen.  no matter how many obstacles appear in our way.  no matter how long it will take. this is the end result.  everything that happens between here and there will just prolong the inevitable.  it cannot change the end result.  so let it rain when it rains.  it won't rain forever.

Our first wedding gift!

We got our first card 

from Aurora
oh gosh she's so cute, she said "this is zio Christian e zia Momy" and yes she even put money and she signed with her name hahahaha(: Oh wait, and my name I wrote it myself when i was little as Aurora.. hahahaha!

Thank you Aurora! We looooove you!